Giving a meaningful, moving eulogy can be a nerve-wracking situation for even the most accomplished public speaker, but it need not be. How can you summarize somebody’s life in a few short minutes, while being both somber and funny at the same time? Writing and delivering a eulogy is a therapeutic tool to help deal with your grief. Being chosen to give a eulogy is an honor and should be treated that way. Here are some tips for writing and delivering an eloquent and memorable eulogy.
- Gather information. Talk with family members, close friends and co-workers to get important information about the deceased. This could include details about the person's family and other close relationships, education, career, hobbies, special interests, places the person lived or travelled, and any special accomplishments they had.
- Organize your thoughts. Jot down your ideas by whatever means are most comfortable and familiar to you. Create an outline of your speech, and fill in the information that you gathered about the person.
- Write it down. This is not a toast at a wedding where you can make off the cuff remarks, and you should not ad lib a eulogy. Writing it all down allows you to remember every detail you wanted to include. When you bring a copy of your eulogy to the podium make sure it is easy to read, printed out in a large font, or if it is hand-written double space what you've written. Keep in mind your time constraints. It is best to keep things on the short side, especially if there are other speakers.
- Review and Revise. Your first draft will not be the last. When you think you are done, sleep on it and look it over in the morning. That will be the time to make any necessary revisions, because it will be fresh again.
- Practice, Practice, Practice. Read over your eulogy several times in order to become familiar with it. Practice in front of a mirror, read it over to some friends or family, and have them give you feedback. Become familiar with your speech so you can recite it without making it look like you’re reading from a script. The more you practice the more comfortable you will be.
- Make them laugh, but be respectful. A funeral is not a roast, however there is room for humor in your eulogy. Fondly remember a story about the person that everyone can relate too. Keep it appropriate, there will be children and the elderly there that may not share the same sense of humor. Laughter is truly the best medicine, and some well placed humor will help people cope, and will bring back fond memories of the deceased.
- Don’t be afraid to show emotion. Funerals are an extremely emotional event, nobody expects you not to shed a few tears. However, if you feel that you will be too strongly overcome by your emotions, have a back-up plan. Ask someone you trust if they can deliver the eulogy for you. Give them a copy well in advance if you feel this could be an issue.
- Have a glass of water, as well as tissues handy.
Writing a death is a difficult and emotional task. We are here to help you with this process, and will discuss it when you come to make funeral arrangements for your loved one. You should take some time to consider any specific information that you would like to have included in the death notice, such as information about their childhood, education, career, hobbies, or interests.